Antagonism is a type of behavior that purposefully puts you in a hostile or combative situation with other people. If you find yourself antagonizing others, either in a professional or personal setting, it could be because you are afraid of something.
Maybe you are afraid of losing control, of looking inadequate or inferior, or perhaps you fear getting emotionally close with another person. It can be used as a defense mechanism that will keep distance between you and other people. If you antagonize others, you probably engage in manipulation, deceit, aggression, and attention seeking behavior.
Many antagonists have a problem developing and maintaining relationships. If you recognize this quality in yourself, figure out where it comes from, what you are afraid of, and how you can overcome it so you can live a happy and productive life.
Take some time to examine your own behavior. Sometimes, it can be hard to see your own worst traits. Talk to someone you trust and respect about your reaction to certain people and situations. Find out how you come across when you antagonize others.
People who care about you will probably be willing to help. Notice when you are most prone to acting in an antagonistic manner. Try to avoid the instant reaction that leads you down this path. Take a breath and step back from the situation before you react.
Make a point of being more positive and cooperative. This might be a difficult change to make, so start off slowly. Instead of disagreeing with someone instantly, let that person give their opinion, and force yourself to say nothing at all.
Train yourself not to disagree or dispute every point. Let others have their say, even if you do not agree with what they’re saying, doing, or proposing. Sometimes, simply remaining quiet is a good way to turn around your antagonism.
Get some help for yourself. Talk to a therapist about your antagonism, and see if you can identify why you are using it to keep people from getting close to you. There might have been people or events in your past that have hurt you, or caused you to mistrust others.
A natural response to those past issues is to develop a hostile and antagonistic exterior self which you might put up to protect your fearful and uncertain interior self. A trained therapist can help you work through the issues in your past that are still playing a role in your life.
You will also learn how to be less antagonistic and more cooperative in your daily life.
Many people who use antagonism as a defense mechanism are caught in lonely, fearful lives filled with hostility and anger. Let go of all that, and find a way to live more peacefully with yourself and others. It will take some getting used to, but you will find yourself happier and more secure.
Letting go of your antagonism will give you a fresh start, and open up doors to better and closer relationships with other people.
